A Positive & Enriching Experience
If you already have children, one of the biggest questions you may have when considering fostering is how it could affect them and your family life. Fostering can be a positive and enriching experience for families, but it also brings changes. It is important that everyone in the household understands what fostering could involve and has the opportunity to share how they feel about it.
An Integral Role
Fostering involves the whole family. Although adults take on the formal responsibilities of being foster carers, your own children will share their home and aspects of their family life with the children and young people who come to stay. For this reason, we believe your children should play an important part in conversations about fostering from the very beginning.
Taking time to talk openly as a family can help your children understand why you are considering fostering and what may change. They may be excited about the idea, but they may also have questions or concerns. They might wonder about sharing your time and attention, how family routines could change or what it will be like having another child living in their home. These are all important conversations to have.
The children of foster carers can play an integral role in the fostering experience. When a foster child first arrives, the household will be unfamiliar to them. Your children can sometimes help them become familiar with everyday family routines, introduce them to their surroundings and help them feel included.
Relationships between children can develop in different ways. Some may become close and form relationships that continue beyond a placement, while others may need more time and space to adjust. Just as every foster child is different, every birth child will have their own personality and feelings about fostering. There should never be an expectation that children will automatically form a particular type of relationship.
The Challenges
It is equally important to recognise that fostering can sometimes be challenging for your own children. They may occasionally find sharing their home, belongings, parents or routines difficult. They may also experience emotions when a foster child leaves the family home, particularly if they have developed a close relationship. This is why communication remains important throughout your fostering journey, not simply when you first decide to apply. Giving your children opportunities to talk openly about their experiences can help you understand how fostering is affecting them and recognise when they may need additional reassurance or support.
At Ideal Fostering, your children’s views and experiences form part of the fostering assessment. Birth children are included within the assessment process and will have opportunities to meet the social worker undertaking the assessment.
Preparation & Support
These discussions are not about expecting your children to have all the answers. They provide an opportunity for them to learn more about fostering, express their feelings and develop a better understanding of what the experience could mean for them.
Preparation and training can also help the whole family feel more informed. As part of the preparation training undertaken by prospective foster carers, there is an opportunity for your own children to attend a session designed to give them greater insight into fostering and how it may affect family life.
Support continues beyond the assessment and preparation stages. Ideal Fostering also arranges a yearly support group for foster carers’ own children. This gives them an opportunity to talk about their experiences or worries with experienced support staff and meet other children who understand what it is like to be part of a fostering family.
Access to experienced social workers can also help families think through situations and better understand how fostering may affect different members of the household.
Fostering will bring change to family life, which is why careful preparation, honest conversations and ongoing communication matter. Your children’s feelings should continue to be heard and respected throughout the experience.
For some families, fostering can bring new perspectives and experiences and give children an opportunity to play their own part in welcoming and supporting others. The important thing is to approach fostering together, giving every member of the family the time, information and support they need to understand the journey ahead.
